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God, can I just cry right now without any pain in my heart? or can I just feel gladly or something like that when I saw him?  I just won't hurt for the same thing, for the same reason. That's stupid thing. But why always him who makes me cry? It's not his fault but I don't know why. I always cry when I saw him. Maybe, it reminds me to the past. Why can't I move on from him? I know that he have a girlfriend now and both of them are happy in their way. I don't want to disturb them. And I don't want to hurt my self. But how? I never have the answer for this question. 

He often hurts me. He often makes me upset. He often lies to me. But till now I'm still loving him. No no no, I mean I just cant stop. It's illogical. It is crazy. Yap, I must be crazy. I shouldn't be like this. God, please, don't do this to me. Can't I happy in my way like they are happy with their way?

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